my daughter is amazing. She's so very happy despite everything that has happened to us during her lifetime. She doesn't have the benefit of her daddy being around... and occasionally she asks about him (more and more lately, it seems)... but she's so well adjusted.
This year she didn't get to have a birthday party (this is the first time she's not been able to have one) and right now I can hear her in the other room with her grampa just LAUGHING away. she's got such a zest for life... she is so full of joy that you can't help but feel it with her. her smile is contagious.
And she's so gosh darned cute. (come on, you've seen her pictures on here!)
I'm depressed because I can't give her everything that I want to give her... (which would probably spoil her!) and she's back there laughing her head off.
this moment kinda causes me to put things in perspective.
by the way, thank you Lord for giving the cashiers at Publix this afternoon a soft heart for us when we came in and asked to exchange the birthday cake that we forgot to refridgerate last night. They allowed us to exchange it even though it was completely my fault that it got ruined. (we told the truth!) Of course, as we were walking away the manager said "Put this one in the fridge!" LOL
My playlist!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Happy Birthday my little Beauty!
Today is my daughters birthday!
She got something that she's wanted for a very long time... but it was a trade off because it was either have a birthday party or get a present from mommy this year...
Money is SUPER tight this year... I primarily live off of the Social Security death benefit that I receive each month. Right now it's even tighter because SS decided they overpayed me last year and they aren't going to send me anything for the next couple of months... hooray for me. There goes birthday party plans and from the looks of it - Christmas as well. Unless I can find work...
so far nobody is hiring a person who cannot work nights and weekends. I'm sorry people, but I don't have anyone to watch my daughter while I work... so I either need to work while she's in school (and after-care) or I don't work. And there's no spot on an application for you to write "single mother - no child care options" or anything like that. Someone said to me that I could hire a sitter for the weekends...
okay... I live primarily on the money I recieve from SS. Per THEIR rules, I cannot earn more than a certain amount each year or I lose those benefits. In order to make ends meet, I need to get a job... in order to get a job I now have to pay for child care which means, now I have to make enough money for child care AND to make ends meet. Which means more hours, more money in a paycheck - more than likely going over the allowed amount and then losing my SS benefits... do you see where this is going?? Which leaves me with close to the same amount of money I had been recieving each month from SS but now I have to work even MORE hours, less time with my precious little girl... where's my life going??
THIS SUCKS.
I know that there are women out there who work full time (with no SS benefits or child support) and pay for child care for multiple children at the same time... but the children are more than likely losing out on special time with mommy because she's working so much... I WANT to be there for my daughter. She's so smart and such a joy - I don't want to risk losing that ability to drop everything and have lunch with her... or go on a field trip with her class at school... the freedom to be home with her when she's sick or there's a teachers workday...
I don't want to be one of those "career" women any longer. My career is my daughter... she isn't my LIFE, but I like that my life can include a lot of her in it.
She got something that she's wanted for a very long time... but it was a trade off because it was either have a birthday party or get a present from mommy this year...
Money is SUPER tight this year... I primarily live off of the Social Security death benefit that I receive each month. Right now it's even tighter because SS decided they overpayed me last year and they aren't going to send me anything for the next couple of months... hooray for me. There goes birthday party plans and from the looks of it - Christmas as well. Unless I can find work...
so far nobody is hiring a person who cannot work nights and weekends. I'm sorry people, but I don't have anyone to watch my daughter while I work... so I either need to work while she's in school (and after-care) or I don't work. And there's no spot on an application for you to write "single mother - no child care options" or anything like that. Someone said to me that I could hire a sitter for the weekends...
okay... I live primarily on the money I recieve from SS. Per THEIR rules, I cannot earn more than a certain amount each year or I lose those benefits. In order to make ends meet, I need to get a job... in order to get a job I now have to pay for child care which means, now I have to make enough money for child care AND to make ends meet. Which means more hours, more money in a paycheck - more than likely going over the allowed amount and then losing my SS benefits... do you see where this is going?? Which leaves me with close to the same amount of money I had been recieving each month from SS but now I have to work even MORE hours, less time with my precious little girl... where's my life going??
THIS SUCKS.
I know that there are women out there who work full time (with no SS benefits or child support) and pay for child care for multiple children at the same time... but the children are more than likely losing out on special time with mommy because she's working so much... I WANT to be there for my daughter. She's so smart and such a joy - I don't want to risk losing that ability to drop everything and have lunch with her... or go on a field trip with her class at school... the freedom to be home with her when she's sick or there's a teachers workday...
I don't want to be one of those "career" women any longer. My career is my daughter... she isn't my LIFE, but I like that my life can include a lot of her in it.
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