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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My generous daughter

My little girl. I've said before that she's an amazing little thing. She's 6 years old and has the most generous heart. Anytime we go to visit someone (be it an adult or a child) she MUST find something to give to them. I can't tell you how many times I've had to stand at the front door waiting for her to emerge from her foraging in her room where she found the "perfect" item for whomever we were going to see.

Every month her school chooses a day for the parents to come in and have lunch with their children... I normally bring in some cookies or little candies (sugar free, usually!) for her to walk around and offer to her classmates, because I know how she loves to give things away. It makes her so happy to be able to share with her friends and their parents.

There have been quite a few times where I've had to step in and tell her that she couldn't give certain things away... if she thinks that someone else will enjoy it, and even though she will certainly miss the item, she will try to give it away.

Okay, having said all of that...

This past weekend my mother had her "family" christmas party... and all of the grandchildren recieved VISA gift cards from gramma. My daughter decided that instead of going to ToysR US or to Walmart to buy herself some toys - she wanted to go to the mall and get her momma some hand soaps from Bath and Body Works. (they were 3 for $10 so she picked out 3 for me... she walked all around the display smelling each one carefully and then picked out her 3 favorites. She told me that I'm not allowed to smell them until Christmas morning.)

Then she wanted to go to Walmart to pick out some items for her gramma and grampa. She got gramma some bedroom slippers and got grampa some new socks ("Momma, grampa's socks all have holes in them... and his feet might get cold")

She spent a good deal of her money on buying gifts for others. She would have gotten more things (for her cousins this time) but I stopped her. I told her that she really should save it and get herself something. So now she's got a little left on her gift card and she can combine that with any money that she might recieve from her Nana and Poppy... and after Christmas we'll go off somewhere so she can get herself something. (hopefully she'll get herself something! I might just put my foot down)

She had so much fun shopping for her family... and you could just see it in her little face that she was proud that she was able to buy gifts ALL BY HERSELF, with her own money, for the ones that she loves. She's truly going to enjoy Christmas morning when she can give the presents that she bought.

She makes me so proud.

Christmas Angels

A couple months back (end of October) I was complaining that Social Security was going to hold back payments to me for a couple of months because they "claim" they overpaid me last year... nice timing on their part. The pretty much removed any hopes of us having a "normal" Christmas.

I've been stressing over this. I did sell some portraits and that helped me to get caught up on a few of my bills, but it didn't help with Christmas, like I had hoped that it would. The economy being what it is, the photo business is slim right about now. (and more than likely, it's going to be getting worse!)

I don't recall telling anyone (other than venting here in my blog!) about this... but just a couple of nights ago we got a visit from a couple of Christmas Angels. They were bearing gifts for a 6 year old girl! There were a couple of large items (including two of my daughters favorite things... A Littlest Pet Shop Club House and also a Hannah Montana barbie doll... she has recently discovered Hannah Montana, she sings, so it's right up her alley!) I had been able to get one item (by spending money that was meant to pay one of my bills) and I borrowed money from my parents to get another item (but I HATE HATE HATE doing that, something that I might get into in another post one of these days.... what it's like living with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder... visit www.bpdcentral.com to learn a little about it...). Now I've got a few items to put into her Christmas stocking and more lovely things to wrap and put underneath the tree for her!

And there was a gift card to our local supermarket also! Which means that I will actually be able to pull my own weight with the Christmas dinner plans (woo hoo!). Relief!

When I asked these Angels how they knew that I was stressing about this, their reply was "We didn't know. But God did."

well. How's that for lovely??

Thank you LORD, for thinking of me and giving me just what I needed. A little bit of Christmas hope and joy. (and relief! I feel so much better now!) And thank you for sending your Christmas Angels my way. I know that there are so many out there who are in need and I feel a little bit guilty that we have been placed on the recieving end... there are many out there that have even less than we do. I'm praying that He takes care of them also.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

One of the mothers at my daughters school recently (and unexpectedly) lost her husband a couple of weeks ago... we didn't know each other, except in passing... last week I was told (via the "rumor weed") that she was now a widow. The rest of the week and all through the weekend, I felt a weight on my heart... and the strange feeling that I should talk to her. (since I'm also a widow and lost my husband unexpectedly as well... and I've got a young daughter the same age as hers) The feelings persisted the entire weekend. On Monday, I saw her at the 1st grade lunch (the parents are allowed to come in one day a month and have lunch with their children) and again, I got the feeling that I should talk to her. Okay, I am NOT the kind of person who can just walk up to someone and start a conversation. I'm shy and I tend to just stand back and watch things happen... this was WAY out of my comfort zone. I sat through the entire lunch trying to build up the nerve to approach her... well, it didn't happen.

After the lunch was over, I decided to wander around the Sanford mall until it was time to go back to the school to get my daughter. Well... lo and behold, who should I run into?? Yup. It was her. She was there with one of the other moms... this time I managed to get up the nerve to walk in her direction, but when they noticed me coming, all I could do was just pretend that it was a chance meeting and I just said "Hello" and then went on my way. I know, I'm such a chicken. I told myself that it was because I didn't want to discuss it in front of the other mom... yeah, right.

When it was about an hour before I had to pick up my daughter, I headed back to the school and sat in the car line area reading my book... and guess who showed up just as early? You guessed it! She was parked right in front of me. I could see that she was talking on the phone... so I told myself that I'd just wait until she got off the phone (secretly hoping that she talked until it was time for the kids to get out). Not 3 seconds after I had that thought, she hung up her phone.
It was at this point that it finally occurred to me that I WAS NOT in charge here... God was speaking to me... that voice that I kept hearing in my head telling me to go speak with her was not my own. So I started mumbling under my breath to God about how I heard him and I got the point... as I got out of my car and headed towards hers.

She saw me coming and I could see on her face (in her side mirror) that she wasn't happy to see me walking her way. I almost stopped and went back to my car, but I felt a push on my back at that moment. (okay okay... I'm going!! Geesh!) Well... she rolled down her window without even looking in my direction... then she turned her head slowly to face me. (poor woman! She was so tired of having all of the parents at the school telling her how "sorry" they were to hear about her husband... she really didn't to hear it again)

I handed her a business card and told her that my phone number and e-mail address were on there... she looked at me as if I was insane... then I explained why. "I'm a widow also. I lost my husband nearly 5 years ago in an unexpected way. I was devastated and I know exactly how you are feeling right now. If you EVER want to speak to someone who understands what you are feeling and understands what you are going through. Please call me." (I'm sure those weren't my exact words, because I was terrified and I don't really remember what I said) Well... we talked for about 45 minutes before we had to move up to get our girls...

I've spoken to her several times since then... she helped me one day to take pictures (she was a very good helper!) and we had lunch afterwards. I've been sharing my experience with her and hoping and praying that I'm saying the right things... I feel like the words I need are escaping me and I have no idea if I am really helping her. I really hope that I am...

One thing that I discovered when my husband passed away (and I've been telling her this often) is that I was much stronger than I thought I was. When my world came crashing down on me in April of 2004, I thought that I was going to die also. How could I possibly go on without him?? Then, months later, I looked at our beautiful daughter and I saw him in her... and it occured to me that as long as I had her, that I hadn't lost all of him... he wasn't completely gone.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

dinner??

my daughter had green beans and black olives for dinner tonight. Does that count as a "healthy" dinner??

(everyone else had rotisserie chicken and garlic potatoes also... but she didn't touch those, even though they were on her plate... she finished her green beans and then got the rest of them out of the kitchen and finished them off... )

Friday, November 7, 2008

The Concert

I recieved this in an e-mail this morning and it touched on my soft spot... I just had to post it. (instead of forwarding it!)

*************************************************************

When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the Mother returned to her seat and discovered that her child was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage.

To her horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit … keep playing."

Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience.

The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played.
Only the classic, “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

Perhaps that's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful.

The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully... You may hear the voice of The Master, whispering in your ear, “Don't quit . . . Keep playing." May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips the "called".

Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you acquire. May God bless you and be with You Always and remember....

"Don't quit . . . Keep playing."

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Contemplations...

This afternoon on our way home from school... I saw some little kids wandering on the sidewalk, backpacks still on... I figured they were on their way home from school. That got me wondering about another little boy that my daughter and I used to see on our way out in the mornings... he'd be sitting (or standing) all alone on the corner, jacket on (usually) and his backpack sitting on the ground next to him.

He was always lost in his own little world... you could just tell. Sometimes he'd be dancing, sometimes he'd be staring up at the sky... other times he'd be aiming his hands at us like they were guns and blowing our car up as we went past. (I'd glance in the rear view mirror and see his arms up over his head like he'd just witnessed a huge explosion)

After the first half of the year, we started shooting back.

He'd see us coming and the "guns" would come out... we'd have our windows down on that side of the car and aim our "guns" (just our hands!) at him as we drove by... and the war would begin... sure, it was a war that lasted less than 30 seconds... but it was OURs! And as always, I'd glance in the rear view mirror, he'd be smirking as he watched us explode. (I'm guessing that in his mind, he always won our little gun-fight)

We never stopped to speak to him - never learned anything about him, other than the fact that he was always at his bus stop by 7:45am each morning.

This year, we don't see him. I wonder if he's just moved into high school and his bus stop time is different now, or if maybe he moved away... and then another thought came to mind.. he will never know that he brought joy into our lives every school morning with our little "wars", that even when we were grumpy when we left the house, we'd always be in a much better mood by the time we got to the end of the street becuase we got to see him (and fight! LOL).

We miss him.

Friday, October 24, 2008

My Daughter

my daughter is amazing. She's so very happy despite everything that has happened to us during her lifetime. She doesn't have the benefit of her daddy being around... and occasionally she asks about him (more and more lately, it seems)... but she's so well adjusted.

This year she didn't get to have a birthday party (this is the first time she's not been able to have one) and right now I can hear her in the other room with her grampa just LAUGHING away. she's got such a zest for life... she is so full of joy that you can't help but feel it with her. her smile is contagious.

And she's so gosh darned cute. (come on, you've seen her pictures on here!)

I'm depressed because I can't give her everything that I want to give her... (which would probably spoil her!) and she's back there laughing her head off.

this moment kinda causes me to put things in perspective.

by the way, thank you Lord for giving the cashiers at Publix this afternoon a soft heart for us when we came in and asked to exchange the birthday cake that we forgot to refridgerate last night. They allowed us to exchange it even though it was completely my fault that it got ruined. (we told the truth!) Of course, as we were walking away the manager said "Put this one in the fridge!" LOL

Happy Birthday my little Beauty!

Today is my daughters birthday!

She got something that she's wanted for a very long time... but it was a trade off because it was either have a birthday party or get a present from mommy this year...

Money is SUPER tight this year... I primarily live off of the Social Security death benefit that I receive each month. Right now it's even tighter because SS decided they overpayed me last year and they aren't going to send me anything for the next couple of months... hooray for me. There goes birthday party plans and from the looks of it - Christmas as well. Unless I can find work...

so far nobody is hiring a person who cannot work nights and weekends. I'm sorry people, but I don't have anyone to watch my daughter while I work... so I either need to work while she's in school (and after-care) or I don't work. And there's no spot on an application for you to write "single mother - no child care options" or anything like that. Someone said to me that I could hire a sitter for the weekends...

okay... I live primarily on the money I recieve from SS. Per THEIR rules, I cannot earn more than a certain amount each year or I lose those benefits. In order to make ends meet, I need to get a job... in order to get a job I now have to pay for child care which means, now I have to make enough money for child care AND to make ends meet. Which means more hours, more money in a paycheck - more than likely going over the allowed amount and then losing my SS benefits... do you see where this is going?? Which leaves me with close to the same amount of money I had been recieving each month from SS but now I have to work even MORE hours, less time with my precious little girl... where's my life going??

THIS SUCKS.

I know that there are women out there who work full time (with no SS benefits or child support) and pay for child care for multiple children at the same time... but the children are more than likely losing out on special time with mommy because she's working so much... I WANT to be there for my daughter. She's so smart and such a joy - I don't want to risk losing that ability to drop everything and have lunch with her... or go on a field trip with her class at school... the freedom to be home with her when she's sick or there's a teachers workday...

I don't want to be one of those "career" women any longer. My career is my daughter... she isn't my LIFE, but I like that my life can include a lot of her in it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Chapstick Air Freshener??

Last night, as I walked past my daughters bedroom... I heard an unusual noise coming from inside. So I walked in to check it out (she was SUPPOSED to be sleeping!) and found my daughter sitting up in her bed, with her cherry chapstick in her hand.

I asked her what she was doing and I got the deer in the headlights look... it was then that I noticed that her face was awfully shiny. SO, I leaned against the bedrail and touched her face and discovered that it was SLIMY! (ick) And as I removed my arm from her bed I found that my arm was now slimy as well...

I went over and turned on the light in her room and saw that not only had she covered her face and her arms in this cherry chapstick... but she had also decided that because it smelled so darned good, she wanted her BED to smell nice also. She had covered her bed rails with it, too.

Okay, it was at this point (with her looking at me as if the world was about to come crashing down and cherry chapstick coating every surface of her bed that was within reach) that I suddenly got the giggles.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

One of my best friends is expecting... she's almost 20 weeks now. This is her first and she's so excited because she and her husband have been trying to concieve for over 4 years now. She found out a few weeks ago that it was a girl, but she didn't want to believe it until she was further along. (she was hoping they were mistaken) This afternoon she had another ultrasound and they confirmed it! She's having a girl!!

When they told her a few weeks ago that it was a girl, she cried. She wanted a boy in the worst way!! It took her a few days, but she got over the shock and now she's just happy to be pregnant!!

So far the name is Ashley, but that could change over the course of the next few weeks... who knows. I can't wait to meet this new little girl ! I'm gonna spoil her and make her as girlie as I possibly can! (with the help of MY little girl) Bring on the pink ruffly clothes!! LOL

Friday, September 26, 2008

A Song to my husband

To Where You Are (by Josh Groban)
(click on it in my playlist to hear it!)

who can say certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
your memories so clear

deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
can it be
that you are my.. forever love
and you are watching over me,
from up above

fly.. me up to where you are
beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for a while, to know you’re there
a breath away is not far to where you are

are you gently sleeping, here inside my dreams?
and isn’t faith believing, all power can’t be seen?

as my heart holds you, just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me.. everyday

cause you are my.. forever love
watching over me from up above
and I believe that angels breathe
and that love will live on and never leave

fly.. me up to where you are
beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for a while to know you’re there
a breath away is not far to where you are

I know you’re there
a breath away is not far to where you are

Saturday, September 20, 2008

A new photography experience tonight!

Wow. I had a friend ask me if I could come and take pictures of her daughter (and her sister, and her niece and her nephew) getting baptized. Not the dunk them in the water type, but the pour a little Holy water on your head type... the way I understood it was that I'd be taking pictures of the children in their cute little outfits and the actual baptism.

WELL. Once I got there and had my camera out... everyone and their brother wanted a "family" picture because they hadn't had one in YEARS. Okay, I'm not an "event" photographer. I do portraits. Usually with my backdrops set up, my lights going... shoot through umbrellas and the like... I was completely thrown out of my comfort zone tonight with this "event"!!! I didn't have my lights, I didn't have my backdrops, I didn't have my umbrellas to diffuse the flash... HOLY MOLY did I feel nervous!

I took it all in stride. When gramma came over and asked me to take a picture of her with her twin sister - I got them together and posed them how I wanted then snapped the picture... when Jeremy came and wanted a picture with his little cousin Anthony "no problem" I got the shot.

Okay, every shot I was taking was turning out underexposed - because I didn't have my lights!!! The only available light was coming from my speed light (my external flash) and the fluorescents on the ceiling... it wasn't enough!! They were coming at me too fast to be able to play with my camera settings too much... I tried!! I got a TON of pictures.

Now I am praying that the Good Lord see's it in his heart to make these pictures come out well. I sure could use the money that this would generate for me!

I'm off now to upload the pictures to my computer, so I can start looking over them and deciding which pictures are sell-able and which aren't! I'll keep ya' posted. (maybe!)

Meeting a friend of daddy's

We are so excited!! Next weekend we are going to be driving out to St Cloud to meet up with one of my husbands managers from Disney. She knew him for many years before he and I got together... she's actually the one that said to him "She likes you, you should ask her out to dinner" (of course, it took him over a month to finally do it!)

She lives on a large piece of property and has many animals (which my daughter is thrilled about) but the best part is that she's got lots of stories to share with my little pumpkin about her daddy. When I called her, and heard her voice again after all these years (it's been a little over 4 years now) it brought memories of my husband flooding back to me.

My daughter has been asking more and more about her daddy, and I got the idea of trying to visit with one of his friends (if I could locate them!) and when I brought up the idea to my daughter she got very excited. Now that we are definitely going to visit with Caroline (the manager) we are both just bursting with energy and excitement. And my little "vet in training" was even MORE excited when I told her about all the animals they had at their house!! LOL

I'm debating bringing my little digital recorder along to maybe get the stories recorded?? What do you think of that idea?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Trying to find a job!

For several weeks now I've been trying to find a part-time job... it's getting very discouraging! The problem I'm having is that I can only work while my daughter is in school... I have nobody to watch her after school (or on weekends) so my availability is rough!

I've applied at many MANY places and been told pretty much the exact same thing each time! "Sorry, but we aren't hiring for those hours at this time"

A friend of mine takes a belly-dance class every week and she put in a good word for me with one of her classmates, who happens to be the hiring manager at the Joanne's Etc near the Sanford Mall... SOOOO... this morning I put in my application with them, and sent off some silent prayers on my way out the door and out of the parking lot, that someone will finally give me a chance!!

So... if you are the praying sort, PLEASE keep me in yours! If you aren't then just send some positive thoughts my way, if you would!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

She's back in school.

So, I had the whole summer to be goofy and explore and be crazy with my daughter. She helped me with the grocery shopping (insisted, actually, that SHE do most of the work! LOL She's so great!) and now that she's started school again I have to relearn how to do it without her! (I'm kidding)

I miss her silly little songs and dances, and the crazy idea's she'd come up with - things that we could do that day... now I have to entertain myself during the day (even while working - cuz she was able to join me while I worked also)... it's not nearly as much fun!

When she missed those few days of school because of the Hurricane / Tropical Storm we explored our flooded neighborhood - collecting leaves and rocks - tossing pine cones and acorns into the rivers that used to be trickling streams the week before. We had a good time in the rain, splashing in puddles and chasing the cats around the yard (our cats don't mind the wet!).

Now I have to fight with my dad over who gets to play with her - during the summer there was plenty of time in the day to share - and most of the time he wins cuz she ADORES him. And she's got him wrapped around her little finger - very tight!!

Mommy keeps saying things like "be careful" and "don't run so fast, you'll fall and hurt yourself" or even "eww, don't touch that! It's gross!"

Grampa on the flip side says things like "isn't that neat?" or "catch that bug so we can watch it crawl on us" or "lets go dig a hole in the backyard" Who can compete with that sort of fun??? LOL

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Multimedia message

Meet Lacey... our big hermit crab. I tried to get a picture of Benjamin too (the small one) but he was too fast for my camera phone!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A message for Grampa

This evening my daughter caught my dad reading a book on how to create an HTML web page... he's been working at it for about a week now... she asked him what he was reading and when he explained to her that he was trying to learn how to create a web page for the internet, she told him that he was old and out of school, so he didn't need to learn things anymore.

His response to her was that you should always keep learning new things, no matter what age you are... cuz if you stop learning things and stop keeping your mind active then it won't be long before you start forgetting things... and then you'll start getting stupider and stupider. (LOL, my dad has such a way with words!)

At this point I'm expecting my daughter to start complaining about how NOW she has to keep learning even after she gets out of school... (she's been complaining that summer wasn't long enough and she doesn't want to go back to school... her favorite phrase being "I can't wait til I'm a grown up and I don't have to go to school anymore") but she surprised me with her response.

She said "Well Grampa, then I better leave you alone so you can keep reading and learning from your book. You don't need to get any stupider"

LOL She's FIVE!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Out of the mouths of babes

Yesterday, while my daughter and I were out doing our personal errands - getting our last minute school supplies and picking up dance class stuff - my daughter was in the backseat singing along to her favorite Veggie Tales CD, when suddenly she said to me "Momma, did you know that my love for you is unstoppable?? Nothing is ever going to make me stop loving you"

talk about getting choked up! But I managed to hold it together and tell her that my love was exactly the same for her.

I'm so very blessed to have her!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

What are YOU honking at?!

Have you ever had one of those days when you became one of the people that you are always making fun of?? The other day I became one of "those" people.

I'm sitting at a traffic light, my mind is going in a million places all at once. When suddenly the lady in the car behind me starts frantically honking her horn. I look in my rear view mirror and see her looking to her right and her left and acting as if she really needs to get somewhere fast. She looked very stressed about something! I watched her for a bit, heard her honking and wondered if I should get out of my car and go back there to see if she was okay... see if she needed to call someone (maybe she didn't have a cell phone). A good minute or more passes with her honkin' and me watching...

...then I hear this little voice in the back seat (it's my daughter, and not my conscience, as it turns out) say "Um, mommy, the light is green" and that's when it all becomes clear...

...that crazy woman behind me is acting the way she is because the light has turned green and I'm just sitting here like a dope. She's trying to figure out how she can get around me without getting into an accident. I'm sure that my face turned red, although for what purpose at this point I really don't know...

imagine how she would have reacted if I had actually gotten out of my car to see what was wrong with her!! I think she might have blown a gasket!!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Memories of my husband

Last night I had a dream that my husband and I were on a cruise in the caribbean. We went to the shows on the ship, ate dinner at the midnight buffet, watched romantic movies and even sat up on the top deck making fun of the other passengers and goofing around. It was a blast!

I woke up with the feeling that I had just had the pleasure of spending some quality time with my husband. I spent the whole day with a lightness in my heart that I very rarely get to feel... but I also had a sadness because I have lost him again.

Monday, August 4, 2008

sleep? where are you?!

Have you ever had one of those nights where your mind wouldn't shut down and you couldn't get to sleep?? Or you were so very OVERtired that you couldn't get to sleep? Well... take those nights of unrest and multiply it by about 4 years... THAT is my life. I haven't really had a good nights sleep since my husband passed away in 2004. For the first couple of years, I couldn't even FORCE myself to go crawl into my bed... just the thought of sleeping in there without him was too much for me. I slept many nights on the couch, or even in bed with my daughter (once she got into a twin sized bed) and there was always the temptation to let her start sleeping with me in my bed. At least then I wouldn't be in there by myself.

I think that my body wouldn't know how to react if it ever got more than 5 hours of sleep in a night. (and that 5 hours is the rarity, when I am actually able to get to sleep within reason...)

She was only a year old when we lost him... and many nights I would lie there worrying that something was going to happen to me also and she'd be an orphan. Who would take care of her if I was to suddenly disappear from her life too?? Who would love her and give her the direction that she needs to become the amazing person that I know she is destined to be??

And on the nights that I wasn't worried about something happening to me, I was worrying that something was going to happen to HER. I'd check on her every hour... watching her chest to make sure she's still breathing... touching her cheeks to make sure they were still soft and warm... I'd stand by her bed watching her until she did her ritual muttering in her sleep or she rolled over or something...

After 4 years, I still check on her a couple of times each night but I'm not obsessive about it... and I don't lie awake wondering when my demise will be (not every night, anyways!)... but what I HAVE done is gotten used to not sleeping at night... and I'm still hesitant about getting into my bed alone.

I'd like to get over this lack of sleep thing... I miss the days of waking up refreshed and renewed. (as much as I miss waking up to the handsome face of my husband)

If anyone out there reading this has any advice for me, I'm open to it!

Orlando Pampered Pet Expo!!

Orlando Pampered Pet Expo
August 8-10 at the Orange County Convention Center
(Friday, 4 - 9 pm)
(Saturday, 10 am - 7 pm)......(Sunday, 10 am - 5 pm)

The Pampered Pet Expo is a family-oriented consumer event in the Central Florida area. The event focuses on an important member of the family —- your pet. Whether it's a dog, cat, fish, bird or small exotic, the Expo will provide an opportunity to shop for everything for your pet under one roof including pet retailers and boutiques, online pet websites, behavior specialists, veterinarians, pet food manufacturers, rescue and adoption organizations, shelters, training, boarding and day care, bakeries, service companies, safety equipment and more!

Guests will also have an opportunity to talk with professionals who can answer your questions or provide advice about your special friend. In addition, the Pampered Pet Expo will offer a variety of entertainment for everyone in the family, even if you’re not a pet guardian right now!
I'll be there on Saturday! Will you join me?!

Clean Up time!

My daughter's room always looks exactly like mine did when I was growing up... messy messy messy. So today, while she was at her Nana's house, I decided I was going in there and cleaning it. Now, I don't know about YOU but when I clean my daughters room... things "disappear"... things like old kids meal toys... scraps of paper that she's drawn some sillyness on... stickers that have lost there sticky... anything that's broken...

most often if it's out of sight, it's out of mind, so she doesn't EVER notice the things that are no longer in there.

Well... before I could finish cleaning her room I got a phone call from Nana saying that my daughter was ready to come home. Once we got back home, I enlisted her help with the rest of the room... my thinking being that if she helps me decide where things should go, then maybe she'll remember where to put them when she finishes playing with them! (yeah, I know that it's wishfull thinking... you don't have to tell me!) So as we were sorting through things, we found one of the American Idol toy things from the McD's kids meals... you know those really dumb dolls that sang a snippet of some lame song? We found the cowboy one... it says "yeeeee haaaww" and then plays some funky music... I asked my daughter if she even played with it any longer and she told me no. SO, I told her to go ahead and put it in the garbage.

OMG you would have thought I just told her we were selling Basil (our cat) to the meat market! She told me "well, momma, I hate to see a good toy go to waste so I'll just put it in with the dolls" and I said that since she just told me that she doesn't play with it that she should go ahead and throw it out. LOL She argued a teeny bit more but then agreed to toss it.

We finished up the room and she went off to play with her grampa. At bedtime, after she brushed her teeth and said good night to everyone, I suddenly started hearing that idiotic cowboy doing it's thing right outside my bedroom. She would push the button, listen to it do it's thing and then laugh and laugh... then she'd do it again... and again... I finally said to her "Are you trying to show me that you still play with it so that you don't have to throw it out?" "Yes, momma" was the answer. LOL So I told her to go ahead and put it back in her room. She was happy with that.

SO, after she went to bed... I snuck back in there and grabbed that thing and hid it in my bedroom closet. If she doesn't mention it for the next couple of days... IT'S GONE!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Our day at the beach

Yesterday my daughter and I took a trip to the beach. We were supposed to be meeting our good friend Erin out there, but her husband had other plans for her... they ended up at the golf course instead! (ewww!)

So, it was just she and I. We started off just playing at the very edge of the water... you know, the spot where the water just barely licks the sand. But slowly we made our way deeper. I couldn't go in too far, since I wasn't in a swim suit and I was holding my DSLR camera (that I'd prefer NOT to get salt water in!). I snapped over 150 pictures yesterday (a couple of which are posted on here).

It didn't take very long for my daughter to be completely immersed in the water... we don't get to the beach very often, but when we do she has the TIME of her life! She's just like her daddy was... she just LOVES the beach. I had the best time just watching her having so much fun. She dug holes and watched the little water bugs freaking out and digging themselves back into the sand... "Sea Monkey's" is what she was calling them. She buried her feet in the sand. She filled her mask with "beautiful sea shells" that she wanted to keep forever... but then decided she wanted the mask to fill water into a hole she dug... and she dumped all those shells back out onto the beach. (without a second thought, all of those "favorite" shells suddenly became property of the beach again).

We only stayed for a couple of hours - but that's all we really need of the beach. It was an overcast day, rainy, and the air wasn't hot and muggy like it normally is... it was PERFECT!

I really do need to make an effort to get out there more often. We live so close and yet we hardly ever go. And she had so very much fun playing in the sand and the waves.

Getting older??

You know, this morning when I brought in the newspaper, I got to thinking... it wasn't so long ago that I really didn't give a hoot about the newspaper. (except to read the Sunday Comic section!!) I never watched the news... it just wasn't all that interesting to me. But somewhere between then and now, I've begun to do both. I watch the news in the evenings (not all day long like my father likes to do! But at night) and I read the daily paper.

What has happened to me?? Am I finally beginning to grow up? What can I do to STOP IT?!?!?

Saturday, August 2, 2008

At Dixie Crossroads in Titusville

Feeding the fish at Dixie Crossroads!

(another cell phone pic)

I thought I'd share with you a photo that I took at my daughters dance recital rehearsal a month or so ago... this was a difficult one because there was no FLASH allowed during the show. So I had to bring my tripod (cuz camera shake is an issue when you are using a slow shutter speed!) and continuously adjust the camera settings to try to get them just right. Since my daughters performance wasn't until nearly the end of the recital, I had plenty of time to take shots and then adjust camera settings before her class came out and I could get the shot I was looking for. WELL... about halfway through the show (still at least 45 minutes before my daughters class) another parent sitting in the section to my left started taking FLASH pictures of her child up on the stage... and suddenly the place was swarming with staff members... they walked around telling anyone with a camera that they had to put them away.... cuz they didn't know who it was that was using the flash... so EVERYONE was punished because of this darned woman! Anyway... while the staff member was still watching me, I took my camera off the tripod and set it down next to me (in the seat) and then put my tripod away... but I kept the camera next to me. Every now and then I would calmly pick up the camera and take another shot (handheld! YIKES!) and then adjust the camera settings more... by the time my daughters class came out I think that I was ready. Here's the shot that I got... I think it would have been even better if I could have had my tripod still set up, but I'm SO VERY happy with this one! I sent it to several of the moms from her class and they said that this shot was even better than the one they purchased from the professional that was at the show! Hooray for me!!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Fireworks!

This one is from the 4th of July... again, this was my first attempt at photographing fireworks. (as you can see, I'm still learning and experiencing new things with my photography... maybe one day you'll be able to call me a professional photographer! Hopefully sooner than later!)

I studied long and hard for this night... I wanted to have all the info I needed BEFORE I got there, so that I didn't have to fumble in the dark with my camera settings trying to get them "just right" for the fireworks. I really like what I was able to get... what do you think??



I call this one, "Tea Party with Herself" because my daughter is the only one in the shot! I took three separate pictures (with costume changes in between... and hair style changes) and then in Photoshop I combined them all together.

My daughter had a GREAT time doing this... she loves to play dress-up and she loves being my model, so she got to do both at the same time! And it doesn't hurt that little miss vanity now has a picture of herself hanging in her room... a picture of 3 of herselves! LOL She loves this picture.

My next project idea is to take a picture of my daughter watching herself play a game on our DS.

This is actually an item that I am selling to some of the other parents at my daughters school... I've done several photoshoots with their daughters and made them into triplets! So far, everyone has been very happy with the results! (whew)

Speaking of MAD SKILLS!

If you are in the area (near Winter Springs) and you want a neat picture taken of you or your children, I'm available! I'll post a couple of my favorite pictures (as soon as I find them on the computer!) and you can see what I'm talking about.

I had a photoshoot with my daughter in the front yard - there were 3 different costume changes, including hair and accessories! and created a lovely picture of her having a tea party with herself. At first glance, it appears that it's a shot of three little girls having a fun tea party, but upon closer inspection you can see that it's all the same little girl (just in different outfits!).

I've got another of one of my daughters school friends playing in her bedroom... magically, she's in three places all at once!!

I was hoping that this afternoon I'd have the chance to get another photo of this type, but this time just twins. (both my daughter, of course!) I've got an interesting idea that I'd like to work on, but as long as the weather isn't cooperating, I can't do a thing! Darned refreshing, rejuvinating and cooling rain! LOL Okay, I don't really hate the rain (love it actually) I'm just anxious to get to work on my newest idea!

It's a rainy Friday afternoon!

Was hoping to get outside and take some new pictures of both myself and of my little peach of a daughter - but the Good Lord had other plans! It started raining earlier than usual today! (for the last few weeks it's started raining around 3 o'clock or so... today, it started before noon! grrrr...!)

SO... I had lunch with one of my best friends today at Chipotle (if you've never eaten there, you should definitely try it! It's yummy!) and then after she went back to work, my daughter and I stopped into Target (since it was raining, we figured we didn't have anything else to do!) and I bought a new car charger for my cell phone. Got in the car and opened it up to find that the darned thing didn't fit in my phone (even though it SAYS that it's for ALL Samsung phones!!) So... I'll be heading back to Target sometime in the next few days to return it. Again, grrrr!!!

Okay, so far this blog seems pretty darned boring! I need to find some of my pictures to include and hopefully impress you with my MAD SKILLS!

4th of july sunset at the Sanford marina

Cute Little Kitty

Brand new at Blogging... will learn as I go!

Hello and welcome to my brand new BLOG! I've heard about them and even read some written by others... hopefully I create something that is awesome and that will be a joy for others to read! (and perhaps I'll even remember to write in it every now and then!)

Now... let me finish this entry and go on to do more setting it up! Wish me luck!