Have you ever had one of those days when you became one of the people that you are always making fun of?? The other day I became one of "those" people.
I'm sitting at a traffic light, my mind is going in a million places all at once. When suddenly the lady in the car behind me starts frantically honking her horn. I look in my rear view mirror and see her looking to her right and her left and acting as if she really needs to get somewhere fast. She looked very stressed about something! I watched her for a bit, heard her honking and wondered if I should get out of my car and go back there to see if she was okay... see if she needed to call someone (maybe she didn't have a cell phone). A good minute or more passes with her honkin' and me watching...
...then I hear this little voice in the back seat (it's my daughter, and not my conscience, as it turns out) say "Um, mommy, the light is green" and that's when it all becomes clear...
...that crazy woman behind me is acting the way she is because the light has turned green and I'm just sitting here like a dope. She's trying to figure out how she can get around me without getting into an accident. I'm sure that my face turned red, although for what purpose at this point I really don't know...
imagine how she would have reacted if I had actually gotten out of my car to see what was wrong with her!! I think she might have blown a gasket!!
My playlist!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Memories of my husband
Last night I had a dream that my husband and I were on a cruise in the caribbean. We went to the shows on the ship, ate dinner at the midnight buffet, watched romantic movies and even sat up on the top deck making fun of the other passengers and goofing around. It was a blast!
I woke up with the feeling that I had just had the pleasure of spending some quality time with my husband. I spent the whole day with a lightness in my heart that I very rarely get to feel... but I also had a sadness because I have lost him again.
I woke up with the feeling that I had just had the pleasure of spending some quality time with my husband. I spent the whole day with a lightness in my heart that I very rarely get to feel... but I also had a sadness because I have lost him again.
Monday, August 4, 2008
sleep? where are you?!
Have you ever had one of those nights where your mind wouldn't shut down and you couldn't get to sleep?? Or you were so very OVERtired that you couldn't get to sleep? Well... take those nights of unrest and multiply it by about 4 years... THAT is my life. I haven't really had a good nights sleep since my husband passed away in 2004. For the first couple of years, I couldn't even FORCE myself to go crawl into my bed... just the thought of sleeping in there without him was too much for me. I slept many nights on the couch, or even in bed with my daughter (once she got into a twin sized bed) and there was always the temptation to let her start sleeping with me in my bed. At least then I wouldn't be in there by myself.
I think that my body wouldn't know how to react if it ever got more than 5 hours of sleep in a night. (and that 5 hours is the rarity, when I am actually able to get to sleep within reason...)
She was only a year old when we lost him... and many nights I would lie there worrying that something was going to happen to me also and she'd be an orphan. Who would take care of her if I was to suddenly disappear from her life too?? Who would love her and give her the direction that she needs to become the amazing person that I know she is destined to be??
And on the nights that I wasn't worried about something happening to me, I was worrying that something was going to happen to HER. I'd check on her every hour... watching her chest to make sure she's still breathing... touching her cheeks to make sure they were still soft and warm... I'd stand by her bed watching her until she did her ritual muttering in her sleep or she rolled over or something...
After 4 years, I still check on her a couple of times each night but I'm not obsessive about it... and I don't lie awake wondering when my demise will be (not every night, anyways!)... but what I HAVE done is gotten used to not sleeping at night... and I'm still hesitant about getting into my bed alone.
I'd like to get over this lack of sleep thing... I miss the days of waking up refreshed and renewed. (as much as I miss waking up to the handsome face of my husband)
If anyone out there reading this has any advice for me, I'm open to it!
I think that my body wouldn't know how to react if it ever got more than 5 hours of sleep in a night. (and that 5 hours is the rarity, when I am actually able to get to sleep within reason...)
She was only a year old when we lost him... and many nights I would lie there worrying that something was going to happen to me also and she'd be an orphan. Who would take care of her if I was to suddenly disappear from her life too?? Who would love her and give her the direction that she needs to become the amazing person that I know she is destined to be??
And on the nights that I wasn't worried about something happening to me, I was worrying that something was going to happen to HER. I'd check on her every hour... watching her chest to make sure she's still breathing... touching her cheeks to make sure they were still soft and warm... I'd stand by her bed watching her until she did her ritual muttering in her sleep or she rolled over or something...
After 4 years, I still check on her a couple of times each night but I'm not obsessive about it... and I don't lie awake wondering when my demise will be (not every night, anyways!)... but what I HAVE done is gotten used to not sleeping at night... and I'm still hesitant about getting into my bed alone.
I'd like to get over this lack of sleep thing... I miss the days of waking up refreshed and renewed. (as much as I miss waking up to the handsome face of my husband)
If anyone out there reading this has any advice for me, I'm open to it!
Orlando Pampered Pet Expo!!
Orlando Pampered Pet Expo
August 8-10 at the Orange County Convention Center
(Friday, 4 - 9 pm)
August 8-10 at the Orange County Convention Center
(Friday, 4 - 9 pm)
(Saturday, 10 am - 7 pm)......(Sunday, 10 am - 5 pm)
The Pampered Pet Expo is a family-oriented consumer event in the Central Florida area. The event focuses on an important member of the family —- your pet. Whether it's a dog, cat, fish, bird or small exotic, the Expo will provide an opportunity to shop for everything for your pet under one roof including pet retailers and boutiques, online pet websites, behavior specialists, veterinarians, pet food manufacturers, rescue and adoption organizations, shelters, training, boarding and day care, bakeries, service companies, safety equipment and more!
The Pampered Pet Expo is a family-oriented consumer event in the Central Florida area. The event focuses on an important member of the family —- your pet. Whether it's a dog, cat, fish, bird or small exotic, the Expo will provide an opportunity to shop for everything for your pet under one roof including pet retailers and boutiques, online pet websites, behavior specialists, veterinarians, pet food manufacturers, rescue and adoption organizations, shelters, training, boarding and day care, bakeries, service companies, safety equipment and more!
Guests will also have an opportunity to talk with professionals who can answer your questions or provide advice about your special friend. In addition, the Pampered Pet Expo will offer a variety of entertainment for everyone in the family, even if you’re not a pet guardian right now!
I'll be there on Saturday! Will you join me?!
Clean Up time!
My daughter's room always looks exactly like mine did when I was growing up... messy messy messy. So today, while she was at her Nana's house, I decided I was going in there and cleaning it. Now, I don't know about YOU but when I clean my daughters room... things "disappear"... things like old kids meal toys... scraps of paper that she's drawn some sillyness on... stickers that have lost there sticky... anything that's broken...
most often if it's out of sight, it's out of mind, so she doesn't EVER notice the things that are no longer in there.
Well... before I could finish cleaning her room I got a phone call from Nana saying that my daughter was ready to come home. Once we got back home, I enlisted her help with the rest of the room... my thinking being that if she helps me decide where things should go, then maybe she'll remember where to put them when she finishes playing with them! (yeah, I know that it's wishfull thinking... you don't have to tell me!) So as we were sorting through things, we found one of the American Idol toy things from the McD's kids meals... you know those really dumb dolls that sang a snippet of some lame song? We found the cowboy one... it says "yeeeee haaaww" and then plays some funky music... I asked my daughter if she even played with it any longer and she told me no. SO, I told her to go ahead and put it in the garbage.
OMG you would have thought I just told her we were selling Basil (our cat) to the meat market! She told me "well, momma, I hate to see a good toy go to waste so I'll just put it in with the dolls" and I said that since she just told me that she doesn't play with it that she should go ahead and throw it out. LOL She argued a teeny bit more but then agreed to toss it.
We finished up the room and she went off to play with her grampa. At bedtime, after she brushed her teeth and said good night to everyone, I suddenly started hearing that idiotic cowboy doing it's thing right outside my bedroom. She would push the button, listen to it do it's thing and then laugh and laugh... then she'd do it again... and again... I finally said to her "Are you trying to show me that you still play with it so that you don't have to throw it out?" "Yes, momma" was the answer. LOL So I told her to go ahead and put it back in her room. She was happy with that.
SO, after she went to bed... I snuck back in there and grabbed that thing and hid it in my bedroom closet. If she doesn't mention it for the next couple of days... IT'S GONE!
most often if it's out of sight, it's out of mind, so she doesn't EVER notice the things that are no longer in there.
Well... before I could finish cleaning her room I got a phone call from Nana saying that my daughter was ready to come home. Once we got back home, I enlisted her help with the rest of the room... my thinking being that if she helps me decide where things should go, then maybe she'll remember where to put them when she finishes playing with them! (yeah, I know that it's wishfull thinking... you don't have to tell me!) So as we were sorting through things, we found one of the American Idol toy things from the McD's kids meals... you know those really dumb dolls that sang a snippet of some lame song? We found the cowboy one... it says "yeeeee haaaww" and then plays some funky music... I asked my daughter if she even played with it any longer and she told me no. SO, I told her to go ahead and put it in the garbage.
OMG you would have thought I just told her we were selling Basil (our cat) to the meat market! She told me "well, momma, I hate to see a good toy go to waste so I'll just put it in with the dolls" and I said that since she just told me that she doesn't play with it that she should go ahead and throw it out. LOL She argued a teeny bit more but then agreed to toss it.
We finished up the room and she went off to play with her grampa. At bedtime, after she brushed her teeth and said good night to everyone, I suddenly started hearing that idiotic cowboy doing it's thing right outside my bedroom. She would push the button, listen to it do it's thing and then laugh and laugh... then she'd do it again... and again... I finally said to her "Are you trying to show me that you still play with it so that you don't have to throw it out?" "Yes, momma" was the answer. LOL So I told her to go ahead and put it back in her room. She was happy with that.
SO, after she went to bed... I snuck back in there and grabbed that thing and hid it in my bedroom closet. If she doesn't mention it for the next couple of days... IT'S GONE!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Our day at the beach
Yesterday my daughter and I took a trip to the beach. We were supposed to be meeting our good friend Erin out there, but her husband had other plans for her... they ended up at the golf course instead! (ewww!)
So, it was just she and I. We started off just playing at the very edge of the water... you know, the spot where the water just barely licks the sand. But slowly we made our way deeper. I couldn't go in too far, since I wasn't in a swim suit and I was holding my DSLR camera (that I'd prefer NOT to get salt water in!). I snapped over 150 pictures yesterday (a couple of which are posted on here).
It didn't take very long for my daughter to be completely immersed in the water... we don't get to the beach very often, but when we do she has the TIME of her life! She's just like her daddy was... she just LOVES the beach. I had the best time just watching her having so much fun. She dug holes and watched the little water bugs freaking out and digging themselves back into the sand... "Sea Monkey's" is what she was calling them. She buried her feet in the sand. She filled her mask with "beautiful sea shells" that she wanted to keep forever... but then decided she wanted the mask to fill water into a hole she dug... and she dumped all those shells back out onto the beach. (without a second thought, all of those "favorite" shells suddenly became property of the beach again).
We only stayed for a couple of hours - but that's all we really need of the beach. It was an overcast day, rainy, and the air wasn't hot and muggy like it normally is... it was PERFECT!
I really do need to make an effort to get out there more often. We live so close and yet we hardly ever go. And she had so very much fun playing in the sand and the waves.
So, it was just she and I. We started off just playing at the very edge of the water... you know, the spot where the water just barely licks the sand. But slowly we made our way deeper. I couldn't go in too far, since I wasn't in a swim suit and I was holding my DSLR camera (that I'd prefer NOT to get salt water in!). I snapped over 150 pictures yesterday (a couple of which are posted on here).
It didn't take very long for my daughter to be completely immersed in the water... we don't get to the beach very often, but when we do she has the TIME of her life! She's just like her daddy was... she just LOVES the beach. I had the best time just watching her having so much fun. She dug holes and watched the little water bugs freaking out and digging themselves back into the sand... "Sea Monkey's" is what she was calling them. She buried her feet in the sand. She filled her mask with "beautiful sea shells" that she wanted to keep forever... but then decided she wanted the mask to fill water into a hole she dug... and she dumped all those shells back out onto the beach. (without a second thought, all of those "favorite" shells suddenly became property of the beach again).
We only stayed for a couple of hours - but that's all we really need of the beach. It was an overcast day, rainy, and the air wasn't hot and muggy like it normally is... it was PERFECT!
I really do need to make an effort to get out there more often. We live so close and yet we hardly ever go. And she had so very much fun playing in the sand and the waves.
Getting older??
You know, this morning when I brought in the newspaper, I got to thinking... it wasn't so long ago that I really didn't give a hoot about the newspaper. (except to read the Sunday Comic section!!) I never watched the news... it just wasn't all that interesting to me. But somewhere between then and now, I've begun to do both. I watch the news in the evenings (not all day long like my father likes to do! But at night) and I read the daily paper.
What has happened to me?? Am I finally beginning to grow up? What can I do to STOP IT?!?!?
What has happened to me?? Am I finally beginning to grow up? What can I do to STOP IT?!?!?
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