The Concert

I recieved this in an e-mail this morning and it touched on my soft spot... I just had to post it. (instead of forwarding it!)

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When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the Mother returned to her seat and discovered that her child was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage.

To her horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit … keep playing."

Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience.

The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played.
Only the classic, “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

Perhaps that's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can truly be beautiful.

The next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully... You may hear the voice of The Master, whispering in your ear, “Don't quit . . . Keep playing." May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there, helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips the "called".

Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by the things you acquire. May God bless you and be with You Always and remember....

"Don't quit . . . Keep playing."

Contemplations...

This afternoon on our way home from school... I saw some little kids wandering on the sidewalk, backpacks still on... I figured they were on their way home from school. That got me wondering about another little boy that my daughter and I used to see on our way out in the mornings... he'd be sitting (or standing) all alone on the corner, jacket on (usually) and his backpack sitting on the ground next to him.

He was always lost in his own little world... you could just tell. Sometimes he'd be dancing, sometimes he'd be staring up at the sky... other times he'd be aiming his hands at us like they were guns and blowing our car up as we went past. (I'd glance in the rear view mirror and see his arms up over his head like he'd just witnessed a huge explosion)

After the first half of the year, we started shooting back.

He'd see us coming and the "guns" would come out... we'd have our windows down on that side of the car and aim our "guns" (just our hands!) at him as we drove by... and the war would begin... sure, it was a war that lasted less than 30 seconds... but it was OURs! And as always, I'd glance in the rear view mirror, he'd be smirking as he watched us explode. (I'm guessing that in his mind, he always won our little gun-fight)

We never stopped to speak to him - never learned anything about him, other than the fact that he was always at his bus stop by 7:45am each morning.

This year, we don't see him. I wonder if he's just moved into high school and his bus stop time is different now, or if maybe he moved away... and then another thought came to mind.. he will never know that he brought joy into our lives every school morning with our little "wars", that even when we were grumpy when we left the house, we'd always be in a much better mood by the time we got to the end of the street becuase we got to see him (and fight! LOL).

We miss him.

My Daughter

my daughter is amazing. She's so very happy despite everything that has happened to us during her lifetime. She doesn't have the benefit of her daddy being around... and occasionally she asks about him (more and more lately, it seems)... but she's so well adjusted.

This year she didn't get to have a birthday party (this is the first time she's not been able to have one) and right now I can hear her in the other room with her grampa just LAUGHING away. she's got such a zest for life... she is so full of joy that you can't help but feel it with her. her smile is contagious.

And she's so gosh darned cute. (come on, you've seen her pictures on here!)

I'm depressed because I can't give her everything that I want to give her... (which would probably spoil her!) and she's back there laughing her head off.

this moment kinda causes me to put things in perspective.

by the way, thank you Lord for giving the cashiers at Publix this afternoon a soft heart for us when we came in and asked to exchange the birthday cake that we forgot to refridgerate last night. They allowed us to exchange it even though it was completely my fault that it got ruined. (we told the truth!) Of course, as we were walking away the manager said "Put this one in the fridge!" LOL

Happy Birthday my little Beauty!

Today is my daughters birthday!

She got something that she's wanted for a very long time... but it was a trade off because it was either have a birthday party or get a present from mommy this year...

Money is SUPER tight this year... I primarily live off of the Social Security death benefit that I receive each month. Right now it's even tighter because SS decided they overpayed me last year and they aren't going to send me anything for the next couple of months... hooray for me. There goes birthday party plans and from the looks of it - Christmas as well. Unless I can find work...

so far nobody is hiring a person who cannot work nights and weekends. I'm sorry people, but I don't have anyone to watch my daughter while I work... so I either need to work while she's in school (and after-care) or I don't work. And there's no spot on an application for you to write "single mother - no child care options" or anything like that. Someone said to me that I could hire a sitter for the weekends...

okay... I live primarily on the money I recieve from SS. Per THEIR rules, I cannot earn more than a certain amount each year or I lose those benefits. In order to make ends meet, I need to get a job... in order to get a job I now have to pay for child care which means, now I have to make enough money for child care AND to make ends meet. Which means more hours, more money in a paycheck - more than likely going over the allowed amount and then losing my SS benefits... do you see where this is going?? Which leaves me with close to the same amount of money I had been recieving each month from SS but now I have to work even MORE hours, less time with my precious little girl... where's my life going??

THIS SUCKS.

I know that there are women out there who work full time (with no SS benefits or child support) and pay for child care for multiple children at the same time... but the children are more than likely losing out on special time with mommy because she's working so much... I WANT to be there for my daughter. She's so smart and such a joy - I don't want to risk losing that ability to drop everything and have lunch with her... or go on a field trip with her class at school... the freedom to be home with her when she's sick or there's a teachers workday...

I don't want to be one of those "career" women any longer. My career is my daughter... she isn't my LIFE, but I like that my life can include a lot of her in it.

Chapstick Air Freshener??

Last night, as I walked past my daughters bedroom... I heard an unusual noise coming from inside. So I walked in to check it out (she was SUPPOSED to be sleeping!) and found my daughter sitting up in her bed, with her cherry chapstick in her hand.

I asked her what she was doing and I got the deer in the headlights look... it was then that I noticed that her face was awfully shiny. SO, I leaned against the bedrail and touched her face and discovered that it was SLIMY! (ick) And as I removed my arm from her bed I found that my arm was now slimy as well...

I went over and turned on the light in her room and saw that not only had she covered her face and her arms in this cherry chapstick... but she had also decided that because it smelled so darned good, she wanted her BED to smell nice also. She had covered her bed rails with it, too.

Okay, it was at this point (with her looking at me as if the world was about to come crashing down and cherry chapstick coating every surface of her bed that was within reach) that I suddenly got the giggles.

One of my best friends is expecting... she's almost 20 weeks now. This is her first and she's so excited because she and her husband have been trying to concieve for over 4 years now. She found out a few weeks ago that it was a girl, but she didn't want to believe it until she was further along. (she was hoping they were mistaken) This afternoon she had another ultrasound and they confirmed it! She's having a girl!!

When they told her a few weeks ago that it was a girl, she cried. She wanted a boy in the worst way!! It took her a few days, but she got over the shock and now she's just happy to be pregnant!!

So far the name is Ashley, but that could change over the course of the next few weeks... who knows. I can't wait to meet this new little girl ! I'm gonna spoil her and make her as girlie as I possibly can! (with the help of MY little girl) Bring on the pink ruffly clothes!! LOL

A Song to my husband

To Where You Are (by Josh Groban)
(click on it in my playlist to hear it!)

who can say certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
your memories so clear

deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
can it be
that you are my.. forever love
and you are watching over me,
from up above

fly.. me up to where you are
beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for a while, to know you’re there
a breath away is not far to where you are

are you gently sleeping, here inside my dreams?
and isn’t faith believing, all power can’t be seen?

as my heart holds you, just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me.. everyday

cause you are my.. forever love
watching over me from up above
and I believe that angels breathe
and that love will live on and never leave

fly.. me up to where you are
beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for a while to know you’re there
a breath away is not far to where you are

I know you’re there
a breath away is not far to where you are